10. Always find the one guy who is fatter and paler than you are so you’ll have proof that you aren’t the most unattractive guy at the pool.
9. Nearly all Chinese character tattoos are secret insults about the wearer’s weight, looks, or sexual orientation.
8. Before a chubby girl can buy a thong, she should have to sign a gym contract.
7. Tans are like melted cheese on bad food – they’re used to try and conceal all kinds of problems.
6. It’s better to not think about people peeing in the pool.
5. The girl with her bikini top untied sunning at the edge of lazy river pool completely deserved to get splashed with water.
4. Hey, I was on the other side of the pool when she got splashed!
3. What goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except the new tattoo, which does go home with you.
2. A girl who can put on her cover up, drop her bikini bottom while standing, and then turn it around and put it back on without flashing everybody at the pool probably knows lots of other great tricks too!
1. Did you see those floaties?