Thursday, May 28, 2009

Rude Awakening #40 - I'm Pregnant?

A pregnant woman told me she feels lousy in the morning, is always cold, and falls asleep every night when she gets home from work. I think I may be pregnant!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Rude Awakening #10,000 - Outliers

Malcolm Gladwell says it takes 10,000 hours to be great at something. That's why I'm incredibly good at being anxious.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Rude Awakening #47 - No Wonder You Don't Take Your Own Advice

The reason it's so hard to follow your own advice is that you KNOW how full of crap you are.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

What Are You Doing? Being Boring

Twitter - Using 140 characters to demonstrate how dull your character really is.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ronald McDonald - The Hand Is Quicker than the Eye!

Let's all go to this tomorrow night!
Ronald McDonald will be all presto chango as he turns our money into high caloric and fat content food and clogs our arteries!
How does he do it?

Monday, May 18, 2009

Honestly, All the Kids Do Is Complain the Whole Vacation

I went to a place today called "Wine Flights." Not sure why they named a bar after my family's vacations.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Rude Awakening #7 - Nothing's What It's Supposed To Be

Everything on my body that's supposed to be short is long, and everythings that's supposed to be long is short.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Rude Awakening #29 - Regrets, I've Had a Few, But Then Again . . .

At my age, mistakes aren't that big a deal since I have so few years left to agonize over them.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Who's Your Momma?

This checker at the garden store said her mom looks just like Stevie Nick. That's surprising since she looked just like Ann Wilson.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Business Quotes from the Unknown

  • "Don't underestimate your abilities. That's is your boss' job."
  • "I think, therefore I am overqualified."
  • "If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until he submerges."
  • "Sarcasm is just one more service we offer."
  • "Why am I not working at the industry leader anymore? Frankly, I wasn't good enough for them, but I'm way beyond anybody you have on staff."