Thursday, September 16, 2010

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Rude Awakening #707 - You're Crazy Boss!

Rude Awakening #707 - My favorite new hobby is diagnosing all the sociopaths working around me.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

What I'm Saying on Twitter

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Rude Awakenings #501 - And In the End

Maybe it's all been a dream. Or purgatory. Or a soap opera.
Not sure which, but at 501 posts, Funny Eye for the Corporate Guy is finished as a daily blog for right now.
No cliff hanger. 
Simply nothing that's all that funny right now to keep it going.
I'd suggest signing up for the email or RSS feed, because it will be back as something in the future...when things are funnier again.

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Best TV Finale Ever...

I finally watched this the other night.
Sure I may be the last person in the world to watch it,
but it's got me thinking. . .

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Rude Awakenings #127,000 - Who Will Run Out of Gas First?

Just occurred to me that my car and I both have about 127,000 miles on us.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Who Knew There Are Cinammon Vitamins?

My doctor suggested these because I'm not getting the daily recommended dose of sticky buns in my diet.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Honest Texting Acronyms: LAYAH

New honest texting abbreviations: LAYAH - Laughing At You Asshole

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

FE4HOG - Drop-In Interruptions and Scratchy Tongues Go Together

One difference about working at home? Very few interruptions in a corporate setting involve a cat cleaning itself in front of the monitor.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Rude Awakening #7734 - There's Some Rolaids at that Oasis

My digestive system is growling on key with an Oasis concert on TV. Not sure who should be more concerned about it!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Honest Texting Acronyms: BFWINSFY

New Honest Texting Acronyms: BFWINSFY - Best Friends Whenever I Need Something From You

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Being a Foursquare Mayor Does Come with Responsibilities

Don't you think a mayor on Foursquare should have to attend city council meetings?

Monday, May 24, 2010

Apprehensories - Erin Moran, Where Are You?

Tchotchkes - Joanie is obviously not the only one who loves them.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Rude Awakening #100 - It's Final Exam Time

I'll have to study since this may be on the final test.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Have You Planted Your Tomatoes Yet?

My wife pointed out it's the start of planting season. I told her that's great, I'm planting myself on the couch to watch TV. 

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Funny H&R Block, I Wasn't Even Thinking of Messing With Your Sanitary Waste

H&R Block Visitors Welcome - If it's okay with you, I'll just park, get out of the car, and not touch anything. Ok?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Work Talk - Funny, No One Said It Was a Waiting Game

It's not that I'm hitting my goals all of a sudden. I just think time has caught up to my impatience.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

One Person's Insomnia Is Another Person's, Well You Know....

My wife said she couldn’t sleep last night because a big storm was rolling through the north part of town. I told her I couldn’t sleep because she was talking to me in an outdoor voice at 3:30 in the morning.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

No, You're Not My Stupid Co-Worker

Watching TV, you'd think everyone working in an office is stupid. From my real-world experience though, it's only maybe 90%.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Rude Awakening #737 - Plane As Your Last Day

Don't you hate when you give up your seat on a full plane for a ticket on a later flight, and then that plane crashes? Yea, me too.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Oprah Advocating for NoPhoneZones? I Have the Solution!

Oprah is fighting against driving and using phones? Maybe she'll buy each of us a chauffeur? How about it Oprah? 

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Unlimited Foursquare and Breadsticks - Not Cool!

FourSquare users, here’s some advice: Stop checking in from Olive Garden. It's just embarrassing for you. #JustSayin #Really #DespiteTheBreadsticks

Monday, April 19, 2010

Funny, But I Thought I Recognized Somebody in the Background

Just wondering, have you seen this new Dan Hesse Sprint commercial from the Nelson Atkins Museum in Kansas City? I figure all those people behind him are former Sprint employees there for a job fair.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Rude Awakening #32 - Death By Repetition Isn't Funny

I keep listening to Bruce Springsteen's "Murder Incorporated" over and over. Probably not a good sign.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Funny, But This Bar Advertises Younger Guy Nights

 There's a new bar in town called "Lincoln Mercury" because their target market is all cougars.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What Do You Think White Trash Means?

My mother-in-law's niece asked what "white trash" meant. My mother-in-law held up a mirror and told her to take a long look.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Rude Awakening #2c - When Hairy Met Snotty

I have nose hair that have taken on their own personalities.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Let's Document My Lack of Career Success

I started writing my personal constitution. Someone suggested the opening line should be "Four scores in seven years...."

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

It's Twitter Time...Or Why Chris Brogan Is an Outlier

There's a negative correlation betweent time spent on Twitter and the steadiness of someone's paycheck. Except for Chris Brogan.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Get Me Some iPad Viagra - Stat!

I must need iPad Viagra since I couldn’t sustain 4 hours of excitement to stand up in line to buy one.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Macy's, You Want to Do What to My What? Funny, That's What I Thought You Said

"EXTRA 25% OFF, MEN'S PRIVATE SALE" - Somebody must have put Lorena Bobbitt in charge of sales at Macy's. I'll be keeping my privates away. . .who can afford 25% off of them?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Social Media Terms Defined: What's Your Manifesto About?

Social Media Terms Defined - "Manifesto" = Overly Self-Important Point of View + Unwillingness to Edit Your Writing to a Reasonable Length

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Funny Your Tweeting About Your Tool

An IBM'er just said to "get on Twitter and find someone who sees value in your tool." Sounds like a Britney spam tactic doesn't it?

Monday, March 22, 2010

Skype Sucks, But That's Just My Opinion. I Could Be Totally Wrong.

A Poem About Skype - I tried Skype, But it must by hype, Because the quality's better, Shouting through a pipe.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

St. Patrick's Day Weather Forecast Is for Drinking & Funny Little Men

When the local weather guy gets the temperature forecast exactly right, he plays "Blinded Me with Science." Other nights, he should have to play "Fool for the City."

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Funny Eye for the Home Office Guy - Just Decide....Please!

I have so many project proposals on hold, a quick rejection would actually feel like success.