Monday, December 21, 2009

What's the Weather Going to be on Christmas?

The forecast for clouds on Christmas sounds like my hair forecast: "Thinning with lots of gray."

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Monday, December 14, 2009

Interesting Story - Pass the Prozac

Family Holiday Dinner + Too Much or Too Little Medication Per Family Member = Interesting Story

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Rude Awakening #79 - Lonely Shmonley

A Blue Christmas without you? Really? Well blue it is then.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Interesting Story - Merry Christmas to the Family

Songs from My Friend's Holiday iTunes Mix: "Celebrate Me Home" (Kenny Loggins) + "I Wanna Be Sedated" (The Ramones) = Interesting Story

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

How Twitter Nearly Got Me Fired for the Hellidays!

Good spelling counts. I accidently sent my boss a tweet wishing him a “Wonderfuk Holiday!"

Monday, December 7, 2009

Who Put the Target on My Wallet?

Being at Target with my wife is like being there with a kid who wants everything... except she can reach the shelves & has a credit card.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Rude Awakening #12 - Home for the Holidays!

There may be no place like home for the holidays, but the state mental hospital has nice decorations & friendlier people.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Early Christmas Shopping for Mrs. FunnyEye

My wife says I never get her anything for Christmas, so I took the opportunity to do a little early shopping and found her this great gift. Now, I just need to get it wrapped! She'll love it, I'm sure!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

White Board Wisdom - December Guerrilla Marketing

We don’t have an advertising budget left. So in December we’re doing a “Piss the Brand Name in the Snow “ campaign since it’s free.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Apprehensories - Faster, Faster, Watch Out!!!

Velocity - When you don't know what you're doing, doing it faster leaves less time for mistakes.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Rude Awakening #1030 - Who Would Be Left?

When you're a one-person operation, downsizing becomes a VERY painful decision.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Funny Eye for the Home Office Guy (FE4HOG) - What Day Is This?

When you work from home, a Tuesday looks pretty much like a Saturday.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Rude Awakening #400 - Better Hit the Stores

It's only 400 shopping days until Christmas after next.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Funny Eye for the Home Office Guy (FE4HOG) - Can I Go Puhleeeez?

I used to have to justify all my travel to the CFO. Now I have to justify it to my least the CFO had a form to fill out.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Rude Awakening #6 - What the Hell?

I've decided by epitaph: "What the hell did I do to get here?"

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Okay Mary Poppins

I feel like Mary Poppins at my job cause it isn't superchallengingfragilisticexpialidocious!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

From Your Mouth to My Blog - Good, Bad, The Difference

They aren't really bad at what they do. They just aren't good at it. There's a difference!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

White Board Wisdom - Carpe Diem Quam Minimum Credula Postero

Bad Sign: A Strategic Planner with a Bumper Sticker saying, "Live for Today"

Monday, November 2, 2009

Funny Eye for the Home Office Guy (FE4HOG) - Dial 9

It wasn't until working from home I realized not every phone number begins with a 9.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

White Board Wisdom - Do I Amuse You?

Today's Existential Question - Will the eye still be funny
when the guy's not making corporate money?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Rude Awakening #19 - Sucking Wind

A recruiter said I was a "breath of fresh air."
She must have noticed I'm sucking wind right now.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

White Board Wisdom - A Bad Business Model

Our problematic business model: People only love our product when it's free.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Rude Awakening - Prime Number? Not So Much.

Despite what's taught in math class, 47 isn't a prime number.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Marketing Infallibility

I really do have a dream marketing job working for a Catholic institution. It's the closest thing to Marketing Infallibility I'm ever going to get!

Monday, October 19, 2009

White Board Wisdom - Management Advice

Management from today's meeting: "You need to change the tolerance on your B.S. filter!"

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Old Material Week - Last Year's Holiday Game Kiosk Photo

Parting Gift - Everyone departing the corporate game gets a home version of "Fact or Crap" you can play between anxious phone calls and waiting for resume responses you'll never get.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

White Board Wisdom - Stick to the Plan

Given the futility of trying to plan in this economy, our plan was . . . exactly what happened the last 9 months!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Work Talk - A $100 Donation and $3000 of TROUBLE

My wife contributed to public TV to get a "free" book for women on getting through menopause. I asked her if they have a companion book for men...that was a mistake!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Rude Awakenings Week #19 - Last Call

I don't have to go home, but I can't stay here.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Rude Awakenings Week #675 - Think About It

If a sports team were named "The Bishops," I bet other team would lost to them on purpose. I'm just thinkin...