Rude Awakening #50Plus - I Ain't the Kid Anymore

The only place I'm likely to hear, "He's younger than I thought," is at an AARP meeting.

White Board Wisdom - Today's Best Freudian Slip

Best Freudian Slip from Today's Meeting: "You're a bitter man than me."

What Did You Say? No, Really. What Did You Say?

My family just realized I'm ignoring them. I told them it's better for them if I do.

The Cool Kids on Twitter - And You Aren't One!

If you banned tweets saying, in effect, "I'm doing something really cool, bet you aren't," what would be left of Twitter?

Follow me on Twitter....if you dare.

Rude Awakenings #299 - Excuse My Lack of Excuses

http://www.twitter.com/funnyeye

It's not my fault I've run out of excuses.

White Board Wisdom - Funny, I've Heard All Kinds of Stupid Questions

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people with questions...Just sayin.

Interesting Story - Bad Twitter Formula

Immaturity + Your Twitter Network = Interesting Story

Valentine's Day Hanky Panky

On Valentine's Day, the
wife called downstairs to ask me to "Put lotion on her back." That's her little code for putting lotion on her back.

http://www.twitter.com/funnyeye

My People of FunnyEye Message . . .

I spent a lot of time on the Super Bowl recap.
Nobody has said anything about not posting anything else this week.
See you next week.

Super Bowl Commercials from a FunnyEye Perspective

Super Bowl Pre-Game Stuff We Wanted to See But Didn't

• A GoDaddy girl bust in on the Katie Couric - Barack Obama interview and ask the president where he registers his URLs?
• Tiger's wife endorsing the new Callaway 9 iron for its money-making accuracy.
• A song other than one by the Alan Parsons Project played during player introductions (and no, "Won't Get Fooled Again" didn't really count).
• Pre-game festivities that take less than the actual event. (Realizing guys feel that way about another big event as well.)

Our Super Bowl XLIV Version of the "Hi Bob" Game

Here's a new group drinking activity we did at our place. Any time any of these happened, everybody drank a Bud Light:

• Some guy who has never exercised wears no pants (i.e., is in his underwear) in a Super Bowl ad

Somebody was knocked over by a surprise tackle (in commercials, not SuperBowl XLIV). Here's Snickers with Betty White and Abe Vigoda. You can go Google the Tim Tebow ad yourself.

• Some guy didn't have a spine

• A GoDaddy girl took her shirt off
• A Super Bowl commercial was a complete waste of money. Use Google to find others in this category.

Let's just say we went through a lot of Bud Light....by half-time.

The What?

So Who didn't know The Who would suck as the half time act?

Maybe if Keith Moon rose from the dead or Fergie showed up to perform with The Who and had a wardrobe malfunction. Maaaaaaaaybe then it would have been a passable half time show.
But no, neither of those happened.

Think about it. When 50% of your members are dead, and you've made the musical request to die before you get old, somebody needs to step in and do something about it. Instead, we suffered through 12 minutes of the half-group's wheezing, 1970s musical onslaught, including their CSI:Geriatric hits:

• "XBox Wizard"
• "TV Wasteland"
• "Who Still Has Hearing?"
• "See Me, Heal Me"
• "Won't Get Drooled On Again"

Did anyone else notice they couldn't even get FAKE excited people to stand around the stage for The Whoot's performance? Wow.

Here's where the Census Bureau missed the boat. Instead of blowing our money on a stupid spot trying to convince us to use 10 minutes of our precious time to complete the census, they'd have been better off just getting us the form early since it would have been a PLEASURE to fill out instead of watching The Who!

The Second Half of My FunnyEye Super Bowl Ad Review

There was a Super Bowl ad I liked right before the Google ad. Then the Google ad ran, and I couldn't remember what the first ad was. So it must have really sucked.

I liked that E*Trade came up with a new word: Milkaholic. Not bad, but it's no Shankapotamus.

The funniest ad was David Letterman, Oprah Winfrey, and Jay Leno. Still makes me laugh today!

From the You've Got to Be Kidding Me Department

Here's the Monster.com ad called "Fiddling Beaver." Interestingly, that's a pretty good way to get fired from a job. And that's all I have to say about that!

Rude Awakening #16,700 - It's a Beautiful Day

Today is the worst day of the rest of my life.

Sure Norman Vincent Peale Could Do Positive Thinking. He Didn't Have to Live through Layoffs

Positive thought for the day: "I don't live here, I just work here."

It's Groundhog Day! It's Groundhog Day! (7 More Times)

My wife is very religious-minded. She's wrapping up her 9-day "Groundhog" move novena.

Interesting Story - "And I Know You From . . . ?"

You call someone to ask a question + By the time they answer the phone, you can't remember who you called or why = Interesting Story