Rude Awakening #555 - Steve Jobs Has Nothing on Me

I'm all over hot new technology. Just today, somebody called me an "iDiot."
Check out all the Rude Awakenings of the Funny Eye.

Rude Awakening #707 - You're Crazy Boss!

Rude Awakening #707 - My favorite new hobby is diagnosing all the sociopaths working around me.

Check out all the Rude Awakenings of Funny Eye.

Fousquare - It's Not New to My Pooch

What I'm Saying on Twitter

Rude Awakenings #501 - And In the End

Maybe it's all been a dream. Or purgatory. Or a soap opera.

Not sure which, but at 501 posts, Funny Eye for the Corporate Guy is finished as a daily blog for right now.

No cliff hanger. 

Simply nothing that's all that funny right now to keep it going.

I'd suggest signing up for the email or RSS feed, because it will be back as something in the future...when things are funnier again.

The Best TV Finale Ever...

I finally watched this the other night.

Sure I may be the last person in the world to watch it,

but it's got me thinking. . .

Rude Awakenings #127,000 - Who Will Run Out of Gas First?

Just occurred to me that my car and I both have about 127,000 miles on us.

Who Knew There Are Cinammon Vitamins?

My doctor suggested these because I'm not getting the daily recommended dose of sticky buns in my diet.

Honest Texting Acronyms - BFO

Interesting Story - Social Media Strategy Assessment

Rude Awakening #111 - There's More to Dark Clouds than Darkness

Every dark cloud has a sliver lining.

Honest Texting Acronyms: LAYAH

New honest texting abbreviations: LAYAH - Laughing At You Asshole

FE4HOG - Drop-In Interruptions and Scratchy Tongues Go Together

One difference about working at home? Very few interruptions in a corporate setting involve a cat cleaning itself in front of the monitor.

Rude Awakening #7734 - There's Some Rolaids at that Oasis

My digestive system is growling on key with an Oasis concert on TV. Not sure who should be more concerned about it!

Honest Texting Acronyms: BFWINSFY

New Honest Texting Acronyms: BFWINSFY - Best Friends Whenever I Need Something From You

Being a Foursquare Mayor Does Come with Responsibilities

Don't you think a mayor on Foursquare should have to attend city council meetings?

Apprehensories - Erin Moran, Where Are You?

Tchotchkes - Joanie is obviously not the only one who loves them.

Rude Awakening #100 - It's Final Exam Time

I'll have to study since this may be on the final test.

Have You Planted Your Tomatoes Yet?

My wife pointed out it's the start of planting season. I told her that's great, I'm planting myself on the couch to watch TV. 

Funny H&R Block, I Wasn't Even Thinking of Messing With Your Sanitary Waste

H&R Block Visitors Welcome - If it's okay with you, I'll just park, get out of the car, and not touch anything. Ok?

Work Talk - Funny, No One Said It Was a Waiting Game

It's not that I'm hitting my goals all of a sudden. I just think time has caught up to my impatience.

Rude Awakening #32: What Doesn't Kill Me. Really, WHAT DOESN'T Kill Me?

What doesn’t kill me makes me pissed off daily.

One Person's Insomnia Is Another Person's, Well You Know....

My wife said she couldn’t sleep last night because a big storm was rolling through the north part of town. I told her I couldn’t sleep because she was talking to me in an outdoor voice at 3:30 in the morning.

No, You're Not My Stupid Co-Worker

Watching TV, you'd think everyone working in an office is stupid. From my real-world experience though, it's only maybe 90%.

Do You Think I Look Like Chris Brogan? Maybe a Young One?

Social Media Expert - A geek with a Twitter following...or not.

Rude Awakening #737 - Plane As Your Last Day

Don't you hate when you give up your seat on a full plane for a ticket on a later flight, and then that plane crashes? Yea, me too.

Why FunnyEye Was on a Funny Furlough Last Week

Funny Physics Lessons

Oprah Advocating for NoPhoneZones? I Have the Solution!

Oprah is fighting against driving and using phones? Maybe she'll buy each of us a chauffeur? How about it Oprah? 

Important Notice from Funny Eye - We're Shutting Down Production This Week

Rude Awakening #48.5 - Nothing Funny About My Mood

I live in a cesspool of negativity.

Rude Awakening #47.5 - Keep Walking Toward the Light of Middle Age

Somewhere along the line, I became an old fart.

Unlimited Foursquare and Breadsticks - Not Cool!

FourSquare users, here’s some advice: Stop checking in from Olive Garden. It's just embarrassing for you. #JustSayin #Really #DespiteTheBreadsticks

Funny, But I Thought I Recognized Somebody in the Background

Just wondering, have you seen this new Dan Hesse Sprint commercial from the Nelson Atkins Museum in Kansas City? I figure all those people behind him are former Sprint employees there for a job fair.

Rude Awakening #32 - Death By Repetition Isn't Funny

I keep listening to Bruce Springsteen's "Murder Incorporated" over and over. Probably not a good sign.

Funny, But This Bar Advertises Younger Guy Nights

 There's a new bar in town called "Lincoln Mercury" because their target market is all cougars.

What Do You Think White Trash Means?

My mother-in-law's niece asked what "white trash" meant. My mother-in-law held up a mirror and told her to take a long look.

Interesting Story - When It's the Kansas City Royals, Not Every Story Is Interesting

The Kansas City Royals + Start of the Baseball Season = Uninteresting Story

Rude Awakening #2c - When Hairy Met Snotty

I have nose hair that have taken on their own personalities.

Let's Document My Lack of Career Success

I started writing my personal constitution. Someone suggested the opening line should be "Four scores in seven years...."

It's Twitter Time...Or Why Chris Brogan Is an Outlier

There's a negative correlation betweent time spent on Twitter and the steadiness of someone's paycheck. Except for Chris Brogan.

Get Me Some iPad Viagra - Stat!

I must need iPad Viagra since I couldn’t sustain 4 hours of excitement to stand up in line to buy one.

Rude Awakening #4.01 - This Is No April Fool's Day Rude Awakening

Step 1 - Get Big Kid, Step 2 - Get Them Into the NBA

I picked up a 7 footer, 50% off!

Macy's, You Want to Do What to My What? Funny, That's What I Thought You Said

"EXTRA 25% OFF, MEN'S PRIVATE SALE" - Somebody must have put Lorena Bobbitt in charge of sales at Macy's. I'll be keeping my privates away. . .who can afford 25% off of them?

Rude Awakening #262213 - I Thought the Funny Guy Was in Charge?

Rude Awakening - Nobody is running this show.

Social Media Terms Defined: What's Your Manifesto About?

Social Media Terms Defined - "Manifesto" = Overly Self-Important Point of View + Unwillingness to Edit Your Writing to a Reasonable Length

Funny Your Tweeting About Your Tool

An IBM'er just said to "get on Twitter and find someone who sees value in your tool." Sounds like a Britney spam tactic doesn't it?

Skype Sucks, But That's Just My Opinion. I Could Be Totally Wrong.

A Poem About Skype - I tried Skype, But it must by hype, Because the quality's better, Shouting through a pipe.

Rude Awakening #75 - Funny, You Don't Hear that Sound?

I think I’m the only one hearing that ticking sound.

St. Patrick's Day Weather Forecast Is for Drinking & Funny Little Men

When the local weather guy gets the temperature forecast exactly right, he plays "Blinded Me with Science." Other nights, he should have to play "Fool for the City."

Funny Eye for the Home Office Guy - Just Decide....Please!

I have so many project proposals on hold, a quick rejection would actually feel like success.

Social Media Terms Defined: What's It Take to Be a Social Media Expert?