Who Knew There Are Cinammon Vitamins?

My doctor suggested these because I'm not getting the daily recommended dose of sticky buns in my diet.

Funny Physics Lessons

Step 1 - Get Big Kid, Step 2 - Get Them Into the NBA

I picked up a 7 footer, 50% off!

Macy's, You Want to Do What to My What? Funny, That's What I Thought You Said

"EXTRA 25% OFF, MEN'S PRIVATE SALE" - Somebody must have put Lorena Bobbitt in charge of sales at Macy's. I'll be keeping my privates away. . .who can afford 25% off of them?

Early Christmas Shopping for Mrs. FunnyEye

My wife says I never get her anything for Christmas, so I took the opportunity to do a little early shopping and found her this great gift. Now, I just need to get it wrapped! She'll love it, I'm sure!

A Vote Against the Green Movement

Funny, but green is not a color I want to think about or see when I'm using their product.

"Can You Get Away With Calling Her a Fembot?"

I suffered through a Friday conference presentation by Al Ries and his alleged branding expert daughter Laura, who has replaced Jack Trout, with whom the elder Ries achieved fame. You can characterize the duo as the "American Gothic" of branding.

It was clear right away the presentation was heading south. Five minutes in, the Twitter chatter in the room, some of it from yours truly, reflected how far south it had gotten. Laura's presentation style was being mocked across both the broad Twitter stream and in tweeters' private messages. Many of the tweets were hilarious, especially in direct messages with my tweeting partner.

After being called out onsite for not sharing our DM tweets more broadly, I promised to publish the DM stream here tonight. Having thought about it over the weekend though, it's not running. The reason? You had to be there. While some of it might be funny if you hadn't seen the presentation, most of it would require way too much explanation.

Then I found this video, which will at least give you a sense of it: a grating voice, too much skin, and a talk-down to the audience tone.

Go ahead and take a look. And then make up your own jokes. But here are two to start:

• Price Is Right Model + Killer Calves + Mktg 101 Class + Stories from 1980s + Patronizing Demeanor + Nepotism = Today's Speaker
  
• The two of them remind me of the Fondas in "On Golden Pond" - Jane looked like she'd been sanded down to a smooth finish & Henry was about to collapse.

I guess I couldn't resist...sorry! =8 )> The Funny Eye

A New Albert Einstein Quote Discovered

"Boy, a guy makes one bad grade in school and they re-name a meeting room at a cheap hotel so they can keep rubbing my nose in it." - Attributed to Albert Einstein

June Bridal Special

Ronald McDonald - The Hand Is Quicker than the Eye!

Let's all go to this tomorrow night!

Ronald McDonald will be all presto chango as he turns our money into high caloric and fat content food and clogs our arteries!

How does he do it?

Do We or Don't We Replace the Sign?

Rebranding - A complex, costly process...or, you can just buy a banner and some black spray paint.

Guess the Occupation from the License Plate

I figure this must be a plastic surgeon.

Our Inheritance?

"Honey, the letter from the lawyer says Grandpa remembered us in his will!!! I can't wait to find out what we're getting!!!"

Got My Picture Taken with President Barack Obama at the Inauguration!

Based on him seeing my anti-Bush post, President Obama wanted to get his picture taken with FunnyEye at the Inauguration last week!
Luckily he missed this post about his economic policy!

Advice for Twitter Users - 8 Words Not Synonymous with “Tweet About . . .”

Don't delude yourself by thinking any of these words can be replaced with the phrase "Tweet about . . . "

1. “Parenthetical” as in “parenthetical thought”
2. “Rhetorical” as in “rhetorical question”
3. “Random” as in “random idea”
4. “Offhand” as in “offhand remark”
5. “Fleeting” as in “fleeting notion”
6. “Shopping” as in “shopping list”
7. “Considering” as in “considering where to eat”
8. “Apologize” as in “apologize for what I did”

P.S. Even your closest friends don't care. I'm just sayin'.

A Visit To Ingredient Restaurant

My friend went to a new restaurant called "Ingredient"
that doesn't allow tipping the wait staff:

It's a unique policy that definitely attracts a certain type of employee!

Funny Math - Three for Two?

Makes Me Want to Live Here - Oh Wait, I Kinda Do

Pre-Election Wrap Up - Special Morning Edition

Election "White Board Wisdom"

A couple of weeks ago, FunnyEye took a week off and encouraged all of you to do a little DIY humor.

Chris took up the challenge, charting the reationship below based on a real life incident. He was stuck on the highway behind a Prius with an Obama / Biden sticker and a pickup truck with one for McCain / Palin. He offers this White Board Wisdom as the origin of “Drill, baby, drill” as a GOP rallying cry.

Something that I'm not sure fits on the chart: spotting an SUV this weekend with two bumper stickers - one for McCain / Palin and the other for alternative fuels.

Speaking of "car art," here was a funny Shoebox card that came to FE4CG headquarters recently from our Fan Club president.

A Musical Interlude

Before voting, you owe it yourself to check out this video adaptation of the Palin - Couric interview. And you should probably look at this as well.

Three Random Thoughts While Waiting an Hour in Line to Vote

1. This line’s so long, I may get to the front by the 2012 election.
2. I hope these people are more informed than I am.
3. Voting is a lot like sex. One hour of wondering if the thing's moving, 2 minutes of something happening, and two years of waiting around for your next opportunity.

The Loneliest Place in Town